Devastation

The past ten days feel like a nightmare that will not end. I feel as if the world stopped under my feet and everyone else is still moving. On July 04, 2017, my precious Dobby Abu Evans left this world. He, to some would be my dog, my Jack Russell, or my pet. To me, he  was my world, my child and my heart. We referred to him as the Chuppy (child puppy).

This blog is not only to talk of him, but of past hurts, anger, heartache and all the things that make me tick. Some will be able to relate, some won’t and that is ok with me.

Losing Dobby has been heart wrenching to say the least. I guess I should first provide just a little background on my precious baby. We brought Dobby home eight weeks after he was born and I swore he would never sleep in  our bed. That lasted all of an hour once bedtime approached. His cry melted my heart and I became fully attached as his heart beat against mine. He was born October 09, 2007.

In 2012, we almost lost him to a full blockage and he fought back and survived. In 2013, with a 20-40% chance of survival he battled Pancreatitis and survived. He would battle this monster all the way through July 2017. Yet, that is not the monster that he could not defeat. At 6:30 am on July 04, 2017 as we returned to the ER, a mere four hours after receiving treatment for Pancreatitis, my sweet baby took his last breath. My only peace is he was in my arms and the last words he heard were, Mama loves you, I got you baby. He had a stroke around 5:30am, which prompted the return trip. His doctors, and we, believe he had a blood clot that broke loose. We did everything we could but it would not have changed the outcome. He was where he intended to be, I honestly believe.

The grief  is immense, the hurt in my heart is severe and yet I still breathe. It isn’t easy. Today is my birthday and to add to the pain, my mama is in the hospital fighting infection. I am a worrier by nature and this terrifies me. This birthday does not fall into the ones I will want to remember category.

Grief takes guts and only by grace do we get through. I will share more with you as this blog grows. I hope that you can find that you can relate or empathize, or that you in time along with me can find healing in whatever you may be facing. Life is short, too short in fact. Live, love and always find laughter.

Angel