22 days. 22 days I have missed my baby, 22 days I have felt immense pain, grief and emptiness. Is it any easier? Absolutely NOT. My anxiety, I feel is worse, I don’t know how to get through this. Meds help, but only when I can take them at night, can’t take them at work. Everything frustrates me, but I still get up everyday and try to cope my way through. I miss my baby and it is not getting easier. One step, one second at a time.
I am at a point that I feel lost. I have plans to honor my baby’s life and memory, it will happen. Overwhelmed is an understatement. I still cannot place his ashes in their spot, I still keep him with me. I don’t have the courage yet. Someday maybe, but not today and most likely not tomorrow. The world still moves around me, I still do my job, yet I am lost. I have amazing support, family and friends far and near have been great. I just can’t cope or at least not very progressively. I assume since I am still breathing and somewhat functioning that is a sign that I am getting through this, but I don’t really feel like I am.
Life is short. Please love and laugh and make memories, for in the end that is all we really have. God is my only saving grace, praying I can find the comfort I need.
Angel
Guts, Grace, And Grief 