I know that this topic affects so many and yet it is something few truly understand. I will not pretend to personally know the physical forms of self harm, though there are many: cutting, burning, scratching just to name a few. Then there are eating disorders that also affect many, and yet again so few understand.

To know someone who harms themselves is to see a side of pain that is debilitating. As much as they crave to release the pain, you crave to heal their pain. To see the scars on their skin and to see the ache that engulfs their daily lives is in itself unbearable at times. I personally want to hug them until the fear and insecurities are no more, to assure them that no matter how tough they feel life is, it does get better and not all days are dark.

Yet in that moment they are trapped and need to feel a release from the crippling grip so they think harming themselves helps and hurts no one else. Sadly, this is far from the truth. The pain is felt by those who love them. In my case with each scar, each drop of blood shed and each silent tear that falls, a part of me feels it too.

Then there are the ones who have been hurt and have lost their sense of self-worth. Those who have suffered tragedies, who have been body shamed, bullied or violated. Those who try to fit in by becoming the “thin’ one or those who have given up and become the “fat” one. In a society where image becomes more important than humanity, we all are subject to it sometimes. Those who cannot cope, who live it day in and day out are the true victims.

To feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy is tragic. How many of you know someone who has self-harmed, has an eating disorder, or yearns to be accepted? Of those people how many have you reached out to, encouraged, mentored and gave hope? We cannot keep watching people wither like wilted flowers, we cannot continue to look away when there are so many cries for help if we just open our ears, hearts and minds.

Their scars tell a story, read it, listen to it, and be the person they can talk to, sometimes that is all it takes.  Scars come in many forms, but scars and wounds can heal with the right amount of love, patience and time. Don’t judge, it is not our place to do so, don’t criticize for someday you may need acceptance, encouragement and love, and never forget that we are all human. Our hearts all beat, our blood flows and we all need a little sunshine sometimes. Be that light for someone, you may be the one who can lift them from the shadows in their darkest moments.

Live, love, laugh and light

For those  I love that need that light!!

Angel Evans

 

Happy New Year. The  year 2017 was not what I had hoped for as I never wanted my baby to leave. Dobby may not be here physically but he is with me in spirit and every memory is with me just as if it happened moments ago. For those wondering, yes his ashes (all of them) still go with me everywhere I go. He has now been to Six Flags in Ga., Carowinds, Myrtle Beach, the mountains, if I go he goes and if anyone should ever say he can’t accompany me then I will not go.  In his life, he could not go much due to his health so he will go now. Call me weird or think it’s odd but for me, he is mine and he will never be forgotten or left behind.

I still have horrible days filled with extreme anxiety and when others lose their babies human or fur, my heart breaks for them in such an unexplainable way.

2018 has already proven that no one is immune to heartbreak and loss and that even as we continue to breathe, when we lose a loved one the peace and comfort seems so far beyond reach. Words of kindness pour in, even from complete strangers but our hearts still feel such emptiness and the words echo and tears fall.

I pray, for those that are currently in the raw moments of loss, a form of peace, some sense of comfort and solace can wrap around you and get you through. No loss is ever easy, but when they are your child or like your own child the loss can prove to be almost unbearable. I pray that you are uplifted and can find love surrounding you as you grieve. Don’t stop remembering and don’t stop sharing even when it hurts.

“Never Goodbye”

I watched your breath leave and your eyes close forever,

Yet somehow I know our love was one that even death cannot sever.

In the coming days, months and years I hope that I feel your presence wherever I may go

I will see you once again when it is my time this I already know

For it was never goodbye and only until I see you again,

Forever in my heart, always on my mind, until then.

ABE 01/06/2018