I know that this topic affects so many and yet it is something few truly understand. I will not pretend to personally know the physical forms of self harm, though there are many: cutting, burning, scratching just to name a few. Then there are eating disorders that also affect many, and yet again so few understand.
To know someone who harms themselves is to see a side of pain that is debilitating. As much as they crave to release the pain, you crave to heal their pain. To see the scars on their skin and to see the ache that engulfs their daily lives is in itself unbearable at times. I personally want to hug them until the fear and insecurities are no more, to assure them that no matter how tough they feel life is, it does get better and not all days are dark.
Yet in that moment they are trapped and need to feel a release from the crippling grip so they think harming themselves helps and hurts no one else. Sadly, this is far from the truth. The pain is felt by those who love them. In my case with each scar, each drop of blood shed and each silent tear that falls, a part of me feels it too.
Then there are the ones who have been hurt and have lost their sense of self-worth. Those who have suffered tragedies, who have been body shamed, bullied or violated. Those who try to fit in by becoming the “thin’ one or those who have given up and become the “fat” one. In a society where image becomes more important than humanity, we all are subject to it sometimes. Those who cannot cope, who live it day in and day out are the true victims.
To feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy is tragic. How many of you know someone who has self-harmed, has an eating disorder, or yearns to be accepted? Of those people how many have you reached out to, encouraged, mentored and gave hope? We cannot keep watching people wither like wilted flowers, we cannot continue to look away when there are so many cries for help if we just open our ears, hearts and minds.
Their scars tell a story, read it, listen to it, and be the person they can talk to, sometimes that is all it takes. Scars come in many forms, but scars and wounds can heal with the right amount of love, patience and time. Don’t judge, it is not our place to do so, don’t criticize for someday you may need acceptance, encouragement and love, and never forget that we are all human. Our hearts all beat, our blood flows and we all need a little sunshine sometimes. Be that light for someone, you may be the one who can lift them from the shadows in their darkest moments.
Live, love, laugh and light
For those I love that need that light!!
Angel Evans
Guts, Grace, And Grief 